Beseech...

My friend suggested to me recently that I pray before I venture out with our family each day.

And I've been thinking about that a lot.
A lot...
Thinking about my prayers for our family...

I have been praying.  I can say without any intended exaggeration that I have committed a serious prayer to the Lord every time I have left the house on my bike since we got here in December.

And at the time, or before too much time I pray to Him while crossing through our gate from our property to the street.
And I pray at the first speed bump.
And at the guard shack, while leaving our neighbourhood, with either kid in the seat behind, I earnestly plead.
I beseech the Lord.

I pray for safety.  I pray we will not be hurt.  I pray that THIS DAY will not be THE day.

And when we get to where we're going...  I pray.  And I thank God.  And I say, "YOU did that Jesus."  YOU cleared the road.  YOU kept my tires from veering.  YOU made the other drivers see us.  YOU did that.  And Cecil and I celebrate with a high-five and a shout a praise to God.

I had been praying that we could see Jesus' work here and be ASTONISHED and that we could (like John) "BEHOLD the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!"

When we return home from some place.  I AM astonished.  And so thankful.  And I don't ever want to take his protection for granted.  And I know I have BEHELD the very Lamb of God.

But what about when I DO get hurt while I'm out?  What about the cuts and bruises and falls and tears?
I've been wondering...  What about THOSE?

If I pray for safety, then why does stuff still happen?

I'm still thankful.  Thankful the falls aren't as bad as they could have been.
Glad we fell into the bush and not into a ditch.
Glad it was me, and not our friend who was pregnant and riding while she was in language school.

 Glad the kids are always not only unharmed, but sometimes not even phased.

Brings me around to another lesson I've learned many times.  That the answer to my prayer isn't always what I expected.

Does this story end happy and wrapped up in a nice little red bow?  Not yet.

I just wanted to bring you into a quandary I've had with the Lord this week.

And when I was thinking about my prayers, I realized for the first time today.....
that I've been BESEECHING him.
 BESEECHING.

I leave the neighbourhood and ask him... for our lives.

And I know it may seem a silly or at least strange thing to pray.
I just feel that if HE DOESN'T protect us and actually PRESERVE our very lives....  than we won't be.

Psalm 116:4

Then I called upon the name of the Lord: “O Lord, I beseech You, save my life!”

well.........  just a glimpse into my mind's pursuits.

-Tracy